Some people make a living sharing cheap thrills with an audience. In the Gutter, not everyone pays cash.
Night in Seedy Motel Challenge by Jennifer Soosar
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“…Okay, I decided to try something really demented
for today’s video. I went on Trip Advisor and found the crappiest, scariest, one-star
hotel in town, and booked myself in for the night. So, welcome to my room at
the hellhole known as the Haymont Inn…”
Who says you can’t make a living doing nothing? Chad’s
father, that’s who. Well, Chad is showing him. A hair away from a million
subscribers and a monthly income from YouTube. All he has to do? Live life (basically
nothing, but rhapsodized nothing).
“…I’m already suffocating and I’ve been in here,
like, ten minutes setting up the camera. This room is literally the size of a
closet, there’s zero ventilation…here, check out the window—painted shut! Oh, check
out what they give you for a closet: a friggin’ locker, like in high school. ‘Course,
you gotta bring your own lock...”
The thing with daily vlogging: you gotta keep ‘em
watching. That means always outdoing yourself; always surprising viewers with
original, outrageous content; next level stuff. Or else—click.
But, as Chad’s father so intelligently pointed
out, is it sustainable? The word of
the decade: sustainable. Could this
vlogging continue into Chad’s thirties, forties, fifties? Why not learn the
insurance trade now? Sure, vlogging was a fine hobby, make no mistake! But was
it prudent to depend on it as a sustainable career?
“…Oh my God! Did you see that? That cockroach was
bigger than the Taco Bell dog! I’m calling the front desk. Yeah, hi, there’s a
huge cockroach in my room. Room ten. No, that’s okay. No, seriously. Thanks. Check
this: the guy says he’ll come and fog
the room if I want—while I’m in
here...”
There was still money available in Chad’s
education fund. The video equipment and editing software hadn’t eaten it all
up. But the insurance industry? Chad would rather move into the Haymont Inn
permanently than do that. Sorry, Dad!
“…It’s, like, three-thirty in the morning. I’m
getting tired but there’s no way I’m sleeping tonight. Are you serious? Those
bed bugs are laughing at that plastic mattress sheet. Oh, very nice. Look at
that—blood on the ceiling, I just noticed. Yo, I’m talking a bit quiet because
these people just checked in next door and the walls are paper thin. I can hear
every fucking word they’re saying. Listen in. I think there’s some kinda drug
deal going down. They sound like bad hombres...”
What makes your life so interesting, Chad’s father
had challenged. You aren’t doing anything to enlighten or educate. Just an
aimless string of immature stunts. Stuff that promises to get you into a heap
of trouble! Hiding inside a tower of toilet paper until the Wal-Mart store
closes?—how pointless! Not only stupid, but illegal!
Smarten up, son! You get a criminal record, you can forget the insurance business. That door’ll be slammed shut!
“…Yo, these hombres are not happy. Some problem
with money, the one guy is jerking them around. Shit. Did you hear that? Holy shit! Okay, that was the sound of a
handgun being cocked. I know that sound, from, like a million movies and stuff.
Okay, this has gotten way intense, I’m pulling the plug here before a bullet
comes through the fricken wall… Oh, no, you gotta be kidding me…I can’t…the
friggin door’s stuck! Fucking lock jammed! I can’t get out. Yeah, hi, it’s room
ten—I can’t get outta the goddamn door…Can you send somebody up here right away
to open it? Room ten! Holy fuck!
Shots fired! Shots fired! Hurry, please! Shots fi—”
After much deliberation, Chad’s father posted the
video; for the fans. It’s amazing that people watch, but they do.
