In our next Gutteral Scream:
John Weagly details just what happens when you talk to that stranger.
John Weagly details just what happens when you talk to that stranger.
Alleyway Alvin by John Weagly
Tyler pointed at the roadkill rat that smeared the asphalt
near the entrance to the alley. “That’s what he eats,” he said.
“Are you trying to scare me?” Emily asked. Her long, blonde
hair kept blowing into her face.
“No,” said Tyler with as much sincerity as he could muster. “Just
telling you the risks of shortcuts.”
It was a late Friday night. Emily had agreed to let Tyler
walk her home after the Crimson Devil’s football game.
He was glad. He’d had a crush on her since freshman year,
but she’d never seemed to notice him before. Now, they were debating their
route in the crisp, autumn air.
“Alleyway Alvin shows his victims no mercy,” Tyler continued.
He hoped the stench of overflowing trash cans wasn’t dampening the romantic mood
he was trying to set.
“I’ve gone this way a thousand times,” Emily said. “I’ve
never run into or even heard of Alleyway Alvin.”
“If people knew about him, there would be a city-wide panic;
that’s why he’s the best kept secret in Currie Valley,” Tyler said, adjusting
his glasses. “He lurks in alleys, different ones on different nights. He waits
for unsuspecting travelers to cut through and then he gets them.”
“With a hook?”
“What?”
“Does he have a hook?” Emily asked.
“No. Why would he have a hook?”
“Don’t these urban legend weirdos usually get people with a
hook?”
Emily rolled her eyes. “You’re making this up as you go
along.”
“No! He got a junior
from over in Clawson last October. He was just like us, cutting through a dark
alley on a night like this...”
“Look, Tyler,” Emily said, “You’re a nice guy, but I think I
can find my own way home.”
“But… No, see… Alleyway Albert won’t get people if they’re
holding hands.”
“I thought you said his name was Alleyway Alvin?”
“It is! It’s Alleyway
Alvin! I’m just nervous because I don’t
want him to get us.” Tyler summoned his courage and optimistically held out his
hand for Emily to take.
Emily gave him a sad smile. “See you at school on Monday,”
she said, then turned into the alley and went on her way.
Tyler stood there stunned as he watched her walk away, her
footsteps growing fainter and fainter. He wasn’t quite sure where he went wrong.
He was positive that his story would at least lead to some hand-holding, and
probably everything up to and including second base. Females were confusing.
He shook his head and turned to go back the way they came,
when a voice spoke behind him.
“You shouldn’t have led with eating the splattered rat.”
Tyler stopped and looked into the shadows, the hairs on the
back of his neck twitching. “Excuse me?”
A man walked to the mouth of the alley. He had long,
straggly hair and was dressed in jeans and a leather jacket. Behind him, steam
rose from vents set in the back walls of the old, brick buildings. “You grossed
her out,” he said. “You should’ve started a little softer, roped her in.”
“Okay.”
“Maybe even opened with that hand-holding stuff.”
“Thanks,” Tyler said, starting to leave.
A hand grabbed his elbow. “Hold on a minute,” the man said. From
not far away, metal clanged on metal in the October breeze.
“I’ve got to go.”
“Come in here,” the man said, a smirk dancing in his eyes. “Cut
down the alley. We’ll talk about girls. I could tell you some stuff.”
“I don’t think…”
“Relax,” the man said. “I’m not Alleyway Albert…”
Tyler tried to pull away. “Alvin,” he corrected.
“I’m not Alleyway Alvin.” His grip tightened on Tyler’s
elbow, pulling him into the shadows. “I’m just a guy who hangs out in alleys. And
who doesn’t like kids.”
The only mercy Tyler saw that night, was that the man in the
leather jacket didn’t use a claw hammer or a hook.
