Who can you trust?
With a price on your head, that list is very very short.
With a price on your head, that list is very very short.
An Outlaw of Note by Patrick Cooper
Cliff tossed the
newspaper on the table. “In town but one night and you made the paper.”
Elias put his coffee
down and picked up the paper. An unflattering picture of himself stared back.
Above his photo, the headline read: Noted
Outlaw Elias Warring Passes Through Town. He cleared his throat.
“Noted outlaw Elias Warring has arrived in Montgomery Flats on his way to
Atlantic City. Warring, who drank his fill at the Trappe Tavern last night, is wanted
in several northern states for murder, bank robbery, horse theft, swine arson-”
“Swine arson?”
“Blasphemy, general
mayhem, and...oh no.”
“What?”
“And sodomy.”
Cliff recoiled. “The
fuck?!”
“I didn’t do any of
those goddamn things! Especially that, most importantly that last one! All I do
is run shine, dammit!”
“I know that, but you
shouldn’t have run your mouth off like that. With that lubricated mouth on you,
what did you think that journalist was gonna do?”
Elias slouched in the
chair and looked out the second floor window. They’d taken a room above a
butcher shop for a couple of days, before heading to Atlantic City. The article
was right about that. They were going there to hook up with a bootlegging crew.
Elias and Cliff knew the eastern Pennsylvania back roads better than most, valuable
knowledge for a crew looking to expand around the tri-state area.
They’d arrived in
Montgomery Flats late and went to the tavern to unwind. A few drinks deep,
Elias latched onto a redhead with cleavage you could hide a donkey between. He started
spinning yarns to impress her. Disinterested, she left and a journalist took
her place on the barstool. Elias was too wet to care. So, on he rambled about
misdeeds never done.
“Shit,” Cliff said.
“You sure like talking big when you’re drunk.”
“How the hell would I
know that journo would take me seriously?! Swine arson, for Chrissakes!”
“They’re taking you
serious, all right.” Cliff fished a hand into the pocket where he kept his .45
and pulled out a flier with the same unflattering photo of his mug, along with a
$1,000 REWARD in big, bold letters. “They’re hanging everywhere in town.”
The sound of
footsteps rumbled outside.
Elias quickly sprang
up and reached for his pistol. Cliff drew his own gun and stepped toward the
door.
A voice called out,
“We know he’s in there! The outlaw Elias Warring! Send him out and there won’t
be any trouble!”
Cliff leaned his
heavy frame against the door. “He ain’t no outlaw! He was just talking shit!”
“Bull!” The voice
said.
Elias took a cautious
peek out the window.
The street was
clogged with townsfolk armed with makeshift weapons. An obese Chinese boy
holding a sharpened hog bone stood at the front of the crowd.
“Damn it all! It’s a
hunting party!” Elias yelled.
“Don’t worry!” Cliff
whispered. “They ain’t getting in here.”
“We hear you!” someone
in the mob yelled. “You got until the count of three to send him out! One!”
“He was drunk!” Cliff
yelled back. “Just running his mouth to impress some fire-crotch!”
Someone in the crowd
yelled, “It was in the newspaper! It’s got to be true!” Another person called
out,“They wouldn’t print it if it weren’t facts! Two!”
Elias fell to his
knees and vomited. He took a moment to gather himself and said, “I’m a dead
man. You gotta get me out of here. The roof, maybe we-”
Cliff fired.
The bullet tore
through Elias’ abdomen. He made a sound like a dying animal and folded in on
himself. “What the fuck, Cliff?” Blood bubbled out of the sides of his mouth.
Cliff approached with
a genuine look of sympathy in his eyes. “Thousand bucks is a thousand bucks.
You know how things are.”
“I ain’t no outlaw.”
“Yeah but it said so
in the paper.” Cliff put a bullet through Elias’ head.
When the door to the
small room caved in with townsfolk, Cliff stuffed his gun back in his coat and
hoisted Elias over his shoulder.
Townsfolk parted in
silence as he walked out of the room and over to the courthouse.
Cliff waited twenty
minutes while the officials got his reward money together. He walked
to the tavern and bought everyone a round. The journalist interviewed him about
his brave showdown with the outlaw Elias Warring.
Cliff proceeded to
drink himself into oblivion.
